Every couple is faced with many decisions once they find out they are expecting, but maybe the most talked about decision is whether or not to find out the sex of the baby before he or she is born.
If you have been keeping up with my baby blog posts, you will know that finding out we were pregnant back in April was a big surprise — don't you just love when life throws you a curveball? Sometimes no, but this one was awesome! As my husband Joe and I began the then seven-month journey, we quickly came to the conclusion that we did in fact want to find out the gender of Baby Grady. Little did I know the rash of opinions that would follow once we told people we didn't want to wait for it to be a surprise.
One thing I have learned throughout the course of this pregnancy (not that I didn't realize this before, but talk about it being taken to a whole new level) is just how opinionated people are and how unafraid they are to share those opinions regardless of being positive or negative. Despite learning to have tough skin due to the business I work in with people constantly judging everything from my hair and clothes to my accent and where I'm from, swallowing criticism when it has to do with something as personal as your unborn child is rough. Yes, I am sure the extra hormones don't help my heightened sensitivity, but feeling judged about something that is no one else's business doesn't feel great.
Joe and I decided to find out of the sex of our baby instead of waiting for it to be a surprise because we both felt nothing would top the surprise of finding out we were pregnant in the first place. Being a bit of a control freak, I also wanted to be able to “plan” a little bit more. As much as I like yellows and greens, I wanted to be able to pick out blues or pinks as well! It's also our first child, and if we are fortunate enough to be blessed with a second child down the road, we very well may wait to be surprised then. Time will tell.
My feeling is if you are curious enough to ask a couple whether they are going to find out the sex or not, be respectful enough to accept their decision without giving your own two cents. It's one thing if a couple is undecided, then, like many other situations and questions that come up during pregnancy, outside opinions of those with experience are welcomed. However with us, we knew what we wanted to do and it just took me back that even up to the day we were having our gender reveal party, people still were questioning our decision to find out saying things like, “Are you really sure you want to know? Don't you think being surprised would be so much more fun?”
I was brought up in a household with a lot of strong opinions and was always encouraged to voice my own even if it went against the majority. But I was taught there has to be a sense of respect and understanding that your opinion is an opinion not a rule.
I've learned a lot about myself and others over the last six-and-a-half months of being pregnant and I know the learning is just beginning, but the one thing I now live by and want to share with you is at the end of the day the only thing that matters is that you and your spouse/significant other are on the same page and stick together. Take people's opinions and advice as it's given, but remember the final decision is always up to you and no one should ever make you feel bad about it especially when it comes to your family.